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What's on my mind

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Start writing, I tell myself. Maybe this will get me somewhere. I don’t know—maybe it feels silly, but I keep writing anyway. Maybe it will make sense in the long run. I’m not sure. I want to shout. I want to put everything out there. I’ve been carrying these negative vibes I picked up recently, and I want to throw them away. Maybe the only way to get rid of them is to write about good things… or maybe the writing will take me somewhere else entirely. Maybe. Maybe. Who should I talk to? I don’t feel articulate enough to start a real conversation. Maybe the Lord would listen. Maybe He could make sense of what I’m trying to say. I don’t know where this is going. Honestly, it feels like it’s going nowhere. But my mind is awake. My heart is feeling something. I am alive—that alone makes this worth writing. Everything makes some kind of sense as long as one is still alive. Breathing matters. Inhale. Exhale. Even if this feels like it’s going nowhere, I think part of me believes that what I’...
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It Is His Birthday

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 Christmas is about the birth of Jesus—about being thankful that He became one of us to show us how to live a life filled with love. It is a season of family, of being with one another, and of giving. It is not about what we receive, but about what we offer from the heart. Christmas can feel like a love song, knowing that under the mistletoe you have someone special to share the moment with. It is showing grandma and granddad that they are remembered, loved, and worth visiting. It is the beauty of a white Christmas, the glow of the tree, the decorations, and the star shining at the top. So much of Christmas is wrapped in symbolism. Even Santa Claus, Rudolph, and the elves have become part of how we imagine the joy and magic of the season. Family gatherings, special meals shared around the table, drinking beer, laughing, and being merry—these too have become traditions that warm the heart. But how do all these pieces connect to a baby lying in a manger? To Mary and Joseph searchi...
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Allergy And Exercise

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I think one of the reasons I'm not feeling fully energized is that I’ve stopped walking and dancing. I really want to experience that joy again and become active. I miss doing kettlebell workouts, but my tendency to be lazy often takes over.  Oh Lord, help me regain my fitness and give me the motivation to exercise. Perhaps you’re allowing me to take it easy because I’m not feeling well due to allergies. I realize this might just be an excuse to avoid moving and enhancing my agility. I know I’m doing a disservice to myself. A healthy body fosters a healthy mind and soul. Lord, lift me up once more.
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Navigating the Questions of Belonging

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In our journey through life, we often find ourselves grappling with profound questions about our place in the world. How should I act on this? T hese moments of introspection can leave us wondering if we’re on the losing end of a situation or if we’re simply navigating a challenging path. One thing to keep in mind is that people have their own right placements in various aspects of life. This leads us to ponder: Am I in the right placement? It’s natural to feel unsure at times. We might wonder if we’re being undermined or if we’re meant to remain in a minority position.  The Quest for Belonging Asking ourselves “ Where do I belong? ” is not a sign of distrust; rather, it reflects our desire to find our rightful place in the tapestry of life. While it’s essential to reflect on our circumstances and consider what actions we might take to sort things out, sometimes the best advice is to simply “just be.” Embracing the Moment So, where am I? I choose to believe that I am in good hands...
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CERTAINTY

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I realised that it is indeed overwhelming when there are so many influences around which makes them very confusing when they are  contradicting each other. Absorbing them all leads me to contradict myself and in the long run I am losing my own identity. Influences all over the place makes life not easy.  Simple things becomes difficult in the midst on many information. Fake news, social media, influencers, gadgets, technology, and engaging with digital platforms has taken me away from simple life.  Reliance is shady. Whom should I trust? Everyone"s agenda is a factor to consider in trusting. And it is hard. It makes me anxious. It"s not healthy when you always question the motives of everyone you want to cling on to if it leads to being paranoid.  In the midst of uncertainty, my contemplation leads me to one thing that is certain. The Word of God.  The Word of God is always reliable, relevant, alive and loving. It is always applicable for all circumstances. You ...
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Picking a Fight with the Universe

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I want to revisit this subject of PRIDE by blogging another reflection about it.  I have fallen a number of times of having an attitude that rooted from being ridiculously proud. I tended to think too much highly about myself above other else. Sometimes I overestimate my value by pretending  so people may look at me above everything. That did not please My God at all. My God does not like me with that attitude.  Some people does not like me either. God hates pride. God declares war with pride when  Lucifer had fallen because of pride, when Adam & Even had fallen because of pride. Pride is the root of all sins.  I am sharing my iniquity to this blog not because I have a unique circumstance but because I believe everyone had its own way of being lured by pride. Some of us think we deserve more money. Some of us think we deserve high regard. Some us think we deserve respect. Some us think we deserve honor. Some of us think we deserve comfort. Some of us think w...
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Humble

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So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 1 Peter 5:6 NLT I found myself more humbled when I found myself helpless and no where to go.  I ended up remaining in the deep after  I have consumed all of my strength and understanding. That's when I looked up to God. I have nothing but You, Lord but I believe that you are more than i ask for. Weariness creeps in when I try my best and when I find out my best is not enough and when I don't put in the equation that help is at hand. I guess pride is such a notorious blood sucker. It deceivingly puts me in a place where the only way to redemption is my way.  Anxeity creeps in as I work my way out and as I work my up and as I work my way to where I think is the milestone for me. Everything is gearing to my control. I made myself the navigator and the thinking machine that controls everything. Why not? I have the skills. I have the talent. Why not use it. That ...
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FULFILLING A PROMISE

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3rd of March 2020: this is the day that I would fulfil a promise. A friend of mine in the church approached me over seven years ago and made a request that I could not refused. He told me that he wanted me to sing in his eulogy when he passed away. I found it awkward. Regardless, I said yes. He told me that he will send the music sheets of the songs that he would like me to sing. He asked my postal address so he can send the sheets. The following day it was in the mailbox. I opened the A4 enveloped and there they were, the sheets and a written letter by him. The first sheet was an American Christian song “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” and the other sheet was Sacred Hymn “Panis Angelicus”. I haven’t been familiar with those songs till that day I received the letter. And so, few of my lazy times, I pulled out those sheets that I kept from the shelves and practiced singing. The sheets stayed in the shelves for over seven years covered with amount of dust when I received a c...
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