THE NEXT ACT

Numb. The house is full hatred. Maybe that is the reason why I can’t think anything positive. I know I should have to be more open. I know I should be more fluid. I know I have to be more obedient to the flow. O whatever. I just want to type and type and type until I get a crack on my head for some juicy staff to come out. But no matter how I pound my head and no matter how the crack gets bigger and bigger, my brain seems to be frozen solid: nothing really flows. Got to heat up. Ice Cubes stuck in a tray for so long has to be washed over by flowing water from the faucet. Maybe I just have to take a shower. Nah, that won’t do. I need something stronger than water. I am thinking of hard drinks but it’s too early. Coffee will do. Sip. Sip. Sip.

I am not a frequent reader of the Bible but I have an idea of what words come from the Bible and what do not. I may not be very well versed but I know what's white from black. I may have questions in the Bible and the Lord has an option to enlighten me or not because we are here to obey the word and not basically to question. It is a matter of putting faith in the word.

Days are numbered. This is a little scary since a big change in my life will happen soon. Thinking of all the preparations needed would overwhelm me. I just have to think of them one at the time. There are also some unnecessary worries here and there. What-ifs creep in just like that and decay my thought of scary scenarios. I am praying that everything will be alright. I am not thinking of myself now. I have my own family to look after. I am on the track of really going all the way. No turning back. The comfort zone leaves me bit by bit as I proceed. I wish that the comfort zone won’t leave at least my baby. I hope that he stays happy forever. I am doing this for him. I got to go on. I prayed hard for this. I believe God blesses me and He is 100% on my side with this decision. I wouldn’t have done this without consulting Him.

December 30, 2006. While walking on my way to the parking area after I dropped by Ever Commonwealth to buy some stuff that I needed I chanced upon not so old man lying helpless on the floor. A guy with radio, obviously the security of the mall, was beside him calling more assistance. The place was beginning to be crowded. “ Anong nangyari?”, I asked. “Bigla na lang nahimatay. Siguro high blood” More and more people came over to take a look. A lady began to check his pulse. “Wala po ba kayong Medical dito sa Mall?”, she asked the security. “Wala po.” Another lady tried to talk to the man. “Wala ho ba kayong kasama?” “Wala”, he murmured. “Sino pwede nating kontakin?” The man reached his cellphone inside his pocket. The lady checked the directory. “ Sino ho dito?” “Joseph.” “Joseph. Eto ho ba?” “Wala akong load.” “Naku wala daw load.” “Ako na kokontak!”, I volunteered. I got a planned sim. “ Anong number? The lady dictated the number. “Hello! Si Joseph po ba eto?” “Ako nga.” “