THE NEXT ACT

Respecting yourself lies in achieving what you have promised on doing for yourself. I promise myself to wake up early every morning for a good work out. I promise myself to refrain from eating pork and rice not for dieting but for pasting as a prayer for a certain concern. I promise myself to set a what-to-do list so that everything will be organized. I promise to be tidy. I frequently disrespect myself. How could I earn more respect from others when I myself do not respect myself by not being firm on decisions? I got to do something about this. I got to get to the bottom of this. What stops me from doing the essentials? Most of the time, I reason out in order not to achieve them. I got to wake up late because I unavoidably lacked sleep the night before. I am usually not in good mood when I don’t eat rice. There’s no time to clean since everything is in a rush. Baloney! Sometimes I think of refraining from making promises so that there will be nothing to be disappointed about. But...

I finally got to watch the Music Video of Kamekase’s Martyr Nievera as my curiosity was triggered by the notes of Bernice. It’s Kinda like Videos of Parokya. Are they related in some ways? Same manager perhaps. Nowadays I am always late with everything when we talk about watching. I watched Superman Returns just last Friday. It took me to have a spare time in my travel to Iloilo City for watching Da Vinci all by myself. All by myself literally inside the cinema since everyone has watched it. I watched a portion of Million Dollar Baby in HBO. I hope Brokeback will follow soon.

This morning I have jogged outdoor for the first time since the treadmill broke down. Nostalgia. Back to panting with fresh air. Sweat is so hard to produce for it was colder outside than when I was doing it in the gym. I must admit I miss running in UP. It’s not bad at all if I would go back to old routine. Suddenly I was looking for old faces who used to jog here. Where are they now? Students get younger and younger. One thing is different. I wore walkman before. Now I carried my MP3 player. Ipod is too much for me. For I only bring music to hear, not to store. But that’s another story.

Do you believe in “Usog� ? My baby was frantically scandalous the other night at around 1 am. He almost woke up the whole neighborhood because of his loud and scared cry. I was told that I got to boil the cloths he wore in the mall when I took him there. That was an attempt to remove the “usog�. And so I did. It worked. This was one of those instances that it worked. The fact that I submit to the practice means that I am already a believer. There must be a rational or scientific explanation on this.

Treadmills are broken. Both of them. Some jackass took out the 110 plugs from the regulator and put them in directly to 220. Sigh. Back to running around UP sunken garden.

There are advantages of not bringing the car to work. It was Wednesday. My car is color-coded on Wednesdays. Usually I bring the car to work earlier than 7 am on Wednesdays just not to commit violation. One Wednesday, I was about to get my car to the parking area with my car-key in my grip when I thought of not bringing it. And so I walked pass the car and went straight to the MRT station. I put on my MP3 player and commuted away. Inside the MRT, I enjoyed examining the billboards more intensely. There were edifices I never thought were there till I took a rest from the stirring wheel. Now I know where the Libre Tabloids come from.

Put on the form you want to be known as. Although you may be far out of that image, acting the role would eventually bring the image as your own. It's like wet cement being poured inside a wooden form. Once it dries, it becomes the form. It makes sense when you are acting a role with the intention of being one eventually. It sounds fakin', but that's how you own it. I got to find my own form. A great image, I must say. I may not have the qualification to be somebody great but there is no harm acting to be one.