Breaking a Stubborn Horse to Delegate

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Being obsessed with accolades would mean not allowing anyone to do the job even in the midst of doing another job. The praise hunger fella has difficulties delegating other jobs with the fear that the attention would be stolen. The poor guy tries to do a one-man-band not minding the tension and the time wasted. He tries to afford a frame of mind of all knowing so as not make room for others to grab the stage.

I was a victim of these obsession when I was the director, script/libretto writer, melody composer of a 2-hour musical play Darklight sponsored by the community I used to belong. The story was inspired by C.S. :Lewis Book entitled Screwtape Letters. I also used the character of Screwtape and his nephew Wormwood in the story and the situation where Screwtape advising Wormwood how to be an excellent devil. It took almost one year of preparation with some spices due to some difficult interactions among the staff, crew and management not to mention the hang-ups within me who was still struggling to learn how to delegate. Although there was an existing committee which would serve as a medium to disperse assignments, I still have an itchy soul to grab all the tasks which I liked doing. Scriptwriting, composing, directing, choreographing, costume designing, stage designing. I have managed to juggle the task until I found myself burnt out. It started with a pain in the stomach and sudden dizziness. Yeah! That was stress alright! And so I called for a time-out and had some realization that I got to entrust some of my juggling acts. I entrusted the unfinished choreography to Rey, the vocal coaching to Vim and Mon, stage design to fine arts graduates, costume and make up to a professional, management to Jing, music scoring to Tom. I concentrated on composing songs, scripwriting and directing.

I know that it’s not necessary to learn the value of delegating the hard way. I should have not suffered some stomach pain if I had just believe with the wisdom. Yet sometimes people are designed to be broken in order to learn. It takes breaking a horse in order to ride it. It takes slapping someone on the face in order recognize the wake up call. Several times I have been a stubborn horse which deserved to play the hard ball to learn.

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