The Absence of Accolades

I believe anybody has something to show and be proud of. I am no exclusion in saying that I have some tricks under my sleeves worth checking. But sometimes I am not so keen on showing of. I am not alright when people misconstrue that my action is all bragging where in fact I am just happy showing what I can do. Some people find what I am capable of as a threat. And just by saying that sounds like I am full of myself. Anybody is a threat with anybody. But come to think of it I find that people who are threatened are not so quite secure in what they have. I know people who are on top of their game yet they are being demoralized by others who have something that they don't have. I'm okay with exhibiting my talent just to my pleasure. The same thing when I was doing something when I was a kid. When I was kid I did what I like doing. Sometimes, no one needed to know what I was capable of doing. I was just in my room, in my secluded place, in a small corner, sitting in a small plastic chair, with a paper on top of a wooden portable board that served as a table with no legs that was on top of my bed, and a pen or a pencil, water colors, poster colors, notebooks, sketching, drawing, comics writing, script writing, journal writing or painting. I enjoyed the mere activities in the absence of accolades. I kept the results of my work hidden in a small shoe box, folder and bags placed them under my bed. Sometimes I got to indulge myself in checking my little masterpieces lying on my bed and I thought then it is much more entertaining than watching TV or hanging outside. Sometimes I let somebody see them if they were worthy enough to call as close friends. But even some of my close friends did not care that much and so it was almost always that my works were just on my own entertainment. I was just a kid putting in hard copies of what I have been day dreaming - playing with imagination that I and my shadow had fun with and no one else is part of this game. I began wanting applause when I began to be recognized and appreciated with what I got to offer. It was a new kind of motivation to make others see the results of my small masterpieces. Frustrations got attached to the new wanting for there are times I am not that good to anyone. It is worthwhile to go back and learn from my younger me. Life was simple back then and life should be that way. Knowing too much on what the world can offer complicates things. I want to go back to what I used to enjoy. I used to enjoy me more than I enjoy acceptance of people. I am me. I know me. I like me. I love me. I love the One who created me. I celebrate me and how I was evolved regardless of the approval of others.

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